MTV Cribs: RV Edition

Last Saturday, Pete and I were put in our place as a couple of low-class bums. We, along with our new BFF, Kerry, ventured to the Austin RV Expo to get our Richie Rich on. We dropped $6 a ticket (after coupon!) to gawk at the latest and greatest RV's, their swag, and the folks that want to buy it all.

Pete is overly impressed with this year's selection.
Like most expos, this one became immensely exhausting after only an hour, which is mildly embarrassing to admit. I'd say, with the exception of plentiful obnoxious children, we were the youngest group there. But after the constant climbing up stairs, sitting down in every chair/couch/dinette, laying on beds and squeezing in get pooped. How the retirees were keeping up is beyond me.

The RV expo certainly exposed us to how the other half live. Until now, I assumed most full-timers were pissing in bowls, getting their hair pulled out by rogue screws on ceiling vents, and showering amongst mold and daddy longlegs in public bath houses. Au contraire!

We're talking fireplaces, hide-away 50" flat screens, kitchen islands on wheels, ceiling fans, pot racks, granite counter tops, washers and dryers, walk-in closets, bathtubs, bowl sinks, suede recliners, electric fold-out couches and much much more. I won't lie, it was thrilling to live the bourgeois lifestyle for the day:

Sipping prop wine.
And we just couldn't resist mocking those less fortunate than us in the measly trailers across the way:

"Their sportsman only cost $7000. Pathetic."
And Kerry, at 6'4", was overwhelmed with excessive headroom. For the most part, he could stand upright in all the fancy rigs.

Plenty of Pete-room here.
Sure, headroom in the spacious common areas was abundant. It's when you get to all the back rooms where they gyp you. Although some models come with small, tub-like showers (we coined them "butt tubs" due to the basin's lack of height), many were equipped with narrow stalls that just weren't cutting it:

Through the roof!
On the more practical side, the RV expo offered Kerry, who is in the process of selling his Toyota Dolphin on Ebay, a bit of inspiration as a salesman. It's all in the fake fruit props and table settings:

If the plates, wine glasses and bouquet aren't doing it for you, perhaps this straw hat will nab the sale:

Note: this straw hat was a prop in the most "man-cave" RV- a football fan's dream coach (embroidered leather, ATV storage, big ass TV, roll down beds for all your hunnies). In my opinion, Pete-with-straw-hat is perhaps the most manly I've ever seen him.

If you really want to get manly with it, however, you're gonna want to go with the luxurious and oh-so-spacious Cougar:

It's for real!
Have I sold you yet?? This is truly the dream lifestyle. Sure, sure. Our $1900 clunker doesn't have the same, ne sais quoi. But it's feels so much more like home than anything we saw at the expo. I'm not interested in Crate and Barrel accessories or faux wood-grain floors or slide outs or fake flowers or big beds...(er, I'd be OK with a bigger bed).

Regardless, we're happy with our Mini Winnie.

But in case you're interested in something a bit more lavish, check out these fabulous videos Kerry made to whet your appetite. Watch as Pete and I hilariously play Vanna White: